Star Girl moles over the word "Humiliation" because, well, it has a rather strong connotation, don't you think? It sounds cruel, a feeling that is often provoked by another person or group. So let Star Girl start off by saying, she more or less found humor in two separate 'embarrassing moments' that occurred at her work place this week. They were not humiliating. However, Star Girl is a sucker for assonance so will keep the title above.
Background: Star Girl works at PayPal/eBay as a Customer Solutions Agent. Its like a glorified call center, which pays well and treats the employees like stars. Star Girl is NOT being paid to promote this corporation, but has to admit, there is a reason they are always listed as the top companies to work for. There is something to be said about being surrounded by some of the most state of the art technology and rather than feeling like you are surrounded by fellow robots, you are surrounded by fellow family and friends. So this might be why these embarrassing moments can be so easily laughed off. Star Girls dad told her she also just has a talent for taking 'the minutia of daily life and making it funny or interesting' so maybe that's all it was, but then again, maybe Star Girl likes to toot her own horn, honk, honk! or should that be a toot? toot? Star Girl will take a compliment from her old man any day. Star Girl never call him an old man to his face, by the way. Anywaaaaaayssss....back to the gist right?!
This week in case you have not heard, is CUSTOMER SERVICE WEEK! And PayPal/eBay loves any reason to celebrate, so every day has been a celebration, full of contests, prizes, and food.
So on to...
EVENT ONE: Thursday was Crazy Outfit Day. Star Girl and fellow employees were notified by email the previous day that the winner would receive a $50.00 gift card. Star Girl is a shopaholic. Star Girl is broke. Star Girl is desperate for the fifty bucks so she can go buy that adorable patent leather clutch with the gaudy, bejeweled lip shaped embellishment on the front. Obviously, its the lost soul mate of the blue, floppy fedora and the slinky, black dress she just bought last week. Sulky, smoky, and skulking past the glass eye of a black and white camera lense, Star Girl pictures that clutch swinging in her hands. Star Girl is feeling competitive, and while she completes emails that day at work, her mind wanders to concocting a crazy outfit, she needs something FIERCE. Burn out the competition! Sizzzzle, Sizzzzzz....
After work, she runs to class, and after class, she runs to Target....Star Girl purchases a package of plastic spiders (the black ones used to dot the cobwebs of halloween decorations) and she also purchases these adorable felt cutouts of owls in halloween shades of black and orange. She runs home. It is 11:30pm at night, Star Girl must be awake at 5:30am for work at 6am. This is crazy. She is hot gluing plastic spiders to a gorgeous, puffy skirt, midnight blue and covered in sequins. Back Story: Skirt was Discovered at a Buffalo Exchange Earth Day Rummage Sale three years ago FOR ONE DOLLAR. Star Girl is sewing the felt owls to the skirt. In a moment of panic, Star Girl demands her boyfriend drive to CVS for safety pins. The zipper of the skirt is broken, MY GOD! ITS BROKEN. Boyfriend dares to say, "Wear something else" Star Girl is staring at him, astounded, hot glue gun in her hand, mouth aslack. The wrath of the beast comes out as she goes into a heated argument about how important this is to her and she must wear this silly skirt. Debate is abated moments later when boyfriend locates some safety pins which were holding a pair of his shorts together. Every thing is not falling apart, except maybe his shorts. Star Girl is imagining the skirt is the canopy above at night, and the sequins the stars. In her world, the sky is crawling with spiders and the owls flying above are as common as dirty street pigeons.
Its a magical world, indeed. Star Girl falls asleep with hot glue dried to her fingers.
5:30am
Not tired? Star Girl, Sleepy Head Dreamer of the Real World is NOT TIRED? She is too excited to wear her Crazy Outfit! She wonders who else will be dressed up? What will they wear? Surely, nothing as creative as her! MWAHAHAHA!
Star Girl dresses in this order: Fuschia colored leopard print tights, followed by THE SKIRT OF THE CENTURY, followed by a long sleeved grey and black striped shirt with images of lipstick prints all over it, followed by a spaghetti strap from 6th grade with Minnie Mouse on the front, her ears are embellished with blue sequins. Minnie Mouses smiles back in the mirror at Star Girl. Lastly, she slips on her pink and black striped ankle socks and black and white creepers (Those platform shoes british punkers always wear).
Star Girl/Crazy Girl runs out the door. Hope none of the neighbors catch a glimpse of her in the sliver of the rising sun!
As Star Girl runs across the parking lot at work she has already amassed quite a few stares. The ride up the elevator is silent, as a group of 4 other guys look over her get up quizzically. Star Girl explains she is dressed for the contest. No one else seems to get it.
Star Girl realizes as she passes the desks of fellow friends and employees, she is the only one dressed as the odd duck. Panic seizes her. What if she got the days mixed up?! She rushes to her desk and opens her email up, yes, today is the day. What the...???
Star Girls bladder is ready to burst three hours later. She refuses to leave her desk and scolds herself, stop drinking so much damn coke and you wouldn't have to pee your pants you big dope! Star Girl does not want to leave her desk for fear of THE STARING and GAWKING.
As the day passes, Star Girl does have to leave her desk from time to time. And she receives many compliments. She discovers that she already has a reputation for being quirky, eclectic, and yes- even dorky as her manager told her. This only shames Star Girl even more. This ridiculous get up? Yes, her fellow team mates thought she was just dressing like she does every day. Oh GAWD KILL ME.
Lo and Behold though, Star Girl WINS the contest. Her picture is taken and loaded into an email which is generated to the whole department. Star Girl's skirt is admired, Star Girl is feeling more brave about being different.
And you know why else Star Girl won the contest? Not just because of her originality and creativity? Because she was the ONLY ONE who dressed up. Everyone else either forgot or were to self-conscious.
Star Girl had the last laugh as she waltzed out the doors of work, $50.00 gift card in her hand.
